I Broke Up With My Girlfriend But She Won't Leave

Fast forward seventeen years, and she is still here.

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

Q.

Hi Erin, 

Let me preface this story by revealing my ASL: I'm a 63-year-old man living at the Jersey Shore. Seventeen years ago, I was released from prison (long story for another day). It wasn't long before I was looking online for female companionship. I found a woman eight years my junior on MySpace (time flies). We hit i…